Oldblue

In my experience repairing cars both unibody and full frame. Measure twice, cut once, on unibody drill out the pinch welds, and use as much of the part as possible.
Remember the factory robot welders are programmed for a pinch weld exactly in the same spot Day in and day out. Pull as much straight as you can .
If the bent is enough to peel the paint off , you’re in for a fight to straighten that out, and when you do it’ll be weaker, so cut and replace

Rayfer

I recognize sound advice when I see it! Read this post yesterday and began another search for undamaged parts in local yards...because you're right, getting it pulled out to where it'll line up correctly is gonna take a ridiculous amount of time...but still not be as safe as it should be. So, we've found the following part (the fender rail, complete from firewall to core support) and was quoted a whopping $40...only kicker is I gotta pull it myself. The plus side is that the price *includes* the core support, so the welding will be to the firewall (is that the correct name for where it attaches?) and all the way over on driver's side, where the core support goes down to the frame rail at the bottom, and the top at the fender rail.

After finding the part and getting a better look at it, we're beginning a search for a local shop to weld it into place for us. I can weld...but do I trust myself to line it up well enough to pass muster? No. I do not. Unless this becomes cost-prohibitive...in which case I'll be taking Oldblue's advice and just go it v_e_r_y slowly and measure twice. Well, more than twice, but you get what I'm saying.

I've got a sawzall (battery powered reciprocating saw) and some decent pry bars and chisels/hammers. You reckon that'll get the parts removed in such a way as to maintain most of their structural integrity...and hopefully leave the remains usable for the next folks who need em?