Well today I recieved a letter from my local child support office... Let me give alittle background info first... I am a single father raising two kids.. jamy and johnny. I recieved custody of johnny when he was 18 months old, he is now 11. Jamy just came to live with me march of last year due to a abusive mother, which the school had found out and contacted CPS which in case called me for custody. Anyways... Johnny's mom hasnt seen him since he was 2 years old. We completley lost track of her... she fell off the map...lol anyways.. she was ordered to pay the minimum of child support but hasnt paid a dime.... not one cent.... which doesnt bother me to much but I have a friend that was behind on child suport, only like 2000.00 and the state wanted to lock him up... whats up with the double standard ???? anyways, the letter I recieved stated that they had sent a letter of withholdings to her employer to take out the child suport... what pisses me off the most is every time she gets a letter like that she jumps from job to job so she can wiggle out of paying. I really dont care about the money.. its the long nights that I hear my son crying because his mom doesnt call or come by to see him. It just crushes me... I just called the company where she works at (sam kane beef, in corpus) trying to speak with her, all I want to tell her is that if she wants to be apart of her sons life to go ahead and do it, if its the child support, I will just write it off ... Money doesnt matter to me... just my kids happiness... well the company personell informed me they could not pull her away from her job. Go figaure..... any suggestions?

 

Sounds like your kids are truly better off without their maternal mother and hopefully, they have or someday will have a mother figure around them. I'm afraid you might be opening up a can of worms if you ever did get her involved in their lives - who knows what she might come up with down the road and you end up losing them (does the court favor mothers - you bet!)

Anyway, my suggestion would be some counseling (a good one) where he/she could explain properly that mommy is not a bad person, but may not be healthy and just is not available for them. That doesn't mean they arn't loved, etc. I am certainly not a professional and neither are most of us here, but that is exactly why I think they should see a professional. I have seen many, many cases of adopted children who have a terrible time in life, even though they were adopted by loving parents. Think about it - they were given up by their maternal parents - why would they not interpret it as to not being loved? This is not the same, but similar. Think you should nip it in the bud and let a professional explain it.

PS - Screw the money. Don't give her any options.

 

Sometimes they're better off without two parents. Find a substitute female friend you know is good person and have her spend some time with the kids. That will give them the female perspective but not expose them to a negative influence like their mother. Believe me, it works! My boys never would have achieved all they have if their father had stayed. Counseling is also a very good plan and, it works!