2010 Chevrolet HHR SS 114k miles.

I own an HHR in Chicago. I pay for parking. One day last year, I'd had enough city driving and decided to use a bicycle or pubic trans. The HHR sat idle for 7 months, lost 10 pounds, and witnessed every aspect of human behavior on the public Red Line train that runs 24 hours a day in Chicago.

The result of not driving was a dead battery and all the emissions system sensors went to sleep. I drove the car 1000+ miles to see if they would respond. Nothing. They do not respond to the emissions tester or my crooked mechanic.

He claimed he could flash it, take it to emissions, pass and return the car for a paltry 500 bucks. Even this did not work. My vehicle's computer resisted all the black arts.

What to do? The Chicago police do not respond to murder, mass shooting or looting, but heaven forbid your tag is out of date.

<Blue flashing lights> Q:"Do you know why I stopped you today?" A:It is easier to fool with a citizen than a professional criminal.

I can't really drive it around and I don't really want to sell it. I kinda like my HHR. The turbo works nice, it went over 100k with only a turbo replacement and the usual tires, breaks, fluids. I bet I could keep it for may years, as I drive very little. Does the HHR hive mind have any solutions?

I thought about registering it in another state, but have no other ideas.

 

I’ve had a 2LT that was left over an 8 month period, I installed a new battery and started it up, it ran great, no issues, my friend drove it daily for 4 years after that. I think it’s the drive cycles that the emissions need to go thru.

 

Old school tech here and some Gone Mad corporate background. Help me understand the gone to sleep statement. What codes if any are set?

 

It’s hard to make sense of the original post. It reads like a weird dime store fiction novel.
I’m going to guess a troll or bot.

 

I'm not clear on your HHR lost 10 pounds and saw the inside of a train.

 

The sensors can't "go to sleep". Most of them are coils of wire encased in epoxy.
My guess, without codes is that critters had a feast on the wires.

 

Take it to any chain parts store and ask them to scan it. Write down ALL of the codes. Don’t bother with descriptions. Buy nothing. Maybe oven take pics of the screen with your phone. Post here. Did I say buy nothing?

 

Have we suggested the tighten the four fuse box screws? Good and tight!! Firmly press the fuses and relays into place. Check and clean the ground wires.