Dare I ask WHY he wants a turkey?

 

Would it be odd to say because of my migraines I can not and did not eat any turkey today?


(I had 2 migraines one yesterday at 7am and one woke me up at midnight so I am on soft food only diet for the next week until my meds are back in full effect, so no turkey for me today. )

 

Couldnt you eat a tofu turkey instead?

 

Wouldn't eating any sort of fake meat just be blasphemy?

 

Who was the sicko who invented Tofurkey anyway?

 

Should said inventor of blasphemous fowl be strung up by the hamstrings and beaten with a salami stick?

 

Why waste a salami?

 

Wold a pole made of pine, named after a flying mammal be better suited then?

 

Dost thou refer to a Slugger of Louisville?

 

would Impailing be going too far ? Or perhaps 12 hours in a smoker would be in order ? Would that learn them?