Chuck Norris needs no headline. He's Chuck Norris. He IS the headline.
11-30-2011, 06:11 PM
#21
Member
Join Date: 01-01-2011
Location: Lubbock, TX
Posts: 37
Giraffes didn't exist until Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side and promptly got her pregnant.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.
Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side and promptly got her pregnant.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.
11-30-2011, 06:42 PM
#22
Founding Member
Join Date: 11-23-2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 8,210
11-30-2011, 08:13 PM
#24
Senior Member
Join Date: 01-04-2008
Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posts: 2,366
OMG that's a good one too, I love these.
"In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle!!!!!!!!!!!"
awesome, keep em comin.
"In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle!!!!!!!!!!!"
awesome, keep em comin.
12-01-2011, 01:29 PM
#26
Founding Member
Join Date: 11-23-2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 8,210
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his house. The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris blood type is AK-47.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his house. The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris blood type is AK-47.
12-02-2011, 03:42 PM
#27
Founding Member
Join Date: 11-23-2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 8,210
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Scientists didn't know about nuclear energy until Chuck Norris karate chopped an atom
Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris can punch his fist through trees and pull out pencils.
Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
When Google has a question.... It Chuck Norris' it.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck Norris can't lose at dodgeball because the ball is nowhere stupid enough to hit Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can fast-forward live TV.
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Scientists didn't know about nuclear energy until Chuck Norris karate chopped an atom
Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris can punch his fist through trees and pull out pencils.
Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
When Google has a question.... It Chuck Norris' it.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck Norris can't lose at dodgeball because the ball is nowhere stupid enough to hit Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can fast-forward live TV.
12-22-2011, 11:02 AM
#28
Founding Member
Join Date: 11-23-2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 8,210
thanks GM tech forum
Steel wool comes from Chuck Norris' sheep!
Chuck Norris can capitalize numbers!
Light wishes it was as fast as Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris can whistle in sign language!
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with cold butter!
Chuck Norris has a stunt double for crying scenes!
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called LOGIC!
Chuck Norris made a pair of pants out of shorts!
Chuck Norris can count the corners in a circle!
Chuck Norris can play PS3 games on a PS1
Chuck Norris has reached the end of the internet.
Chuck Noris can watch 60 minutes in 20!
Chuck Norris wins Monopoly by saying checkmate!
Chuck Norris can capitalize numbers!
Light wishes it was as fast as Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris can whistle in sign language!
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with cold butter!
Chuck Norris has a stunt double for crying scenes!
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called LOGIC!
Chuck Norris made a pair of pants out of shorts!
Chuck Norris can count the corners in a circle!
Chuck Norris can play PS3 games on a PS1
Chuck Norris has reached the end of the internet.
Chuck Noris can watch 60 minutes in 20!
Chuck Norris wins Monopoly by saying checkmate!
12-22-2011, 07:40 PM
#29
Senior Member
Join Date: 08-29-2009
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 1,813
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
King Kong was actually a documentary about Chuck Norris's three year old son.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into granite.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.
Chuck Norris is the only man in the world who could get punched in the face by his own reflection.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
King Kong was actually a documentary about Chuck Norris's three year old son.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into granite.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.
Chuck Norris is the only man in the world who could get punched in the face by his own reflection.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.