How far are you from a parts palace to have your battery load tested and the charging system tested to confirm the alternator is toast and it may have killed the 4 month old battery?

the battery and cables may look fine , did you check and physically remove and clean the battery terminals? Did you make sure the Maxi fuse is clean and seated correctly and firmly into it’s socket, it powers the BCM

 

Consider for a moment that there may be a situation where somebody is 1,200 from his tools, is stranded on the side of the road, and was able to get somebody to pull him to his apartment or he can work on it but has to do so in the elements and has to lay on gravel to get underneath.

If I was at my shop, I would obviously be using different procedures.... I'm going to edit the main post so I stop seeing these helpful hints.

 

Yes, it is better to burn your car down 1200 miles from home.

Sorry, didn't know you were a Master Mechanic, not in your profile. A lot of people don't know how dangerous sparks can be. I was stating the fact for all of them that might read this thread and might think it is a smart way to do the job.

 

You're crawling under the vehicle to jump start it? Maybe I've completely missed what the issue is.

 

TLDR: It was the starter.
WHen connecting the jumper cables to the jump post/ground, the lack of sparks indicated the current wasn't traveling freely along it's intended route.

I called a buddy with a voltmeter and we tested the wiring and fuses from the posts to battery to starter and back to posts. Wasn't getting any readings at the starter itself. Disconnected it, took it to O'Reilly's. They tested it. It's bad.

​​​​​​The main reason for needing the starter working, aside from the obvious ones, was to be able to turn the engine over and diagnose all the other issues that sprang up.

I'll start a new thread on that. I just wanted to close out this one by stating a solution was found.

 

Ok, progress, starter problems, thank you for the follow up.

 

How in the Hellman’s Mayo was that caused by the starter? There had to have been something else too? Those EOM battery terminals are tricky and sometimes fool you into thinking they’re tight.