XtremeModifier

These are all a little old, so I'm sorry about my fuzzy memory, but here goes nothing. Also, while these don't "involve an HHR" I hope that's okay with the mods. If not, well, sorry .

First, a quick rundown on my '87 Formula "Mulletbird" Pontiac. It's got a L98 engine swap in it, from a 'vette. Torker2 intake with port-matching. 1050 dominator holley, and a 13.75" filter on top, stock '88+ vented hood, 60-thal bore, and a stroke (400 crank). Dumps hidden behind the rear bumper, 10.5" Hoosier "DOT tires", and let's just say that until I studded the motor, it got some serious Head Lift, and it actually snapped two brand new motor mounts from dyno'ing, but still managed 600hp before the mounts went the way of the dodo. Runs easy 9's.

Well, I was outside, in the parking lot (out at the back of the lot, where it was empty at the time) tuning up the carb for the summer time, and trying to get this car to "run right" (I have it tuned to go rich at idle, but go stoich on the throttle, so it's a careful balance, but makes it sound like junk but run like the wind, but anyone who's tuned one of these knows you need to street test it some too). Either way, these kids decided to pull up, 3 cars, a '93 civic with little, if anything, more than a short-ram intake and fart cannon, a '98 bmw 3-series I believe with no mods, and a porsche boxter or whatever they're called (sorry, other than the 944, 968, and a few other porsche's I don't follow them too much). Either way, they pulled up and started making fun of my Formula (I didn't have the tune 100%, I figured it was good for a few quick pulls). Keep in mind, they pulled up behind my car, and I was under the hood at the time. I just closed the hood (with a bent latch, I have to do this carefully, takes me maybe 5-10 seconds) and set my wrenches and screwdrivers down in my toolbox to go say hi to these guys (their cars aren't necessarily to my tastes, but I still respect other car guys, at least until they're disrespectful)

Well, I guess the contingency stickers and car numbering got their attention, and they started talking junk about what they called my "rice burner" (they saw the v6 stickers, didn't think for a second it might be a small block v8), and the guy in the civic went on about how I "couldn't even touch his car". Well, with fuel costing what it does today, I told him I wouldn't race for less than $50, since I'd just be wasting gas money, and after a little working around, I got him to agree to a race.

Race 1: Civic (120-ish crank HP) vs Formula (600+ at rear wheels)

We lined up on an unnamed road (sorry, won't give away these details) in Morgantown, and when the light went green, I thought I heard his civic go full throttle (I just launched off idle) and I waited for a full second before I went, but since I didn't bother loading the converter, I was VERY slow off the line. By 2500rpm's, though, I caught up with him when I think he shifted (saw the car transfer weight forward then back again) as my RPM's kept climbing in 1st (700r with 3.73's and stock ratios in the tranny, this is maybe 20-25mph) and I felt the front end of the formula start to lift off the ground as I was thrown further and further into my seat. By the top of 1st, at 7600rpm's, I already had him by a full length, as the front end SLAMMED into the ground, then lifted again as I felt the back end get loose (I lifted a little to keep 'er straight). By mid-way through second, there was no point, I already had him by 3 lengths, and with limited traction, so 3rd gear would be pointless, so I hit the brakes and slowed 'er back down to roughly the speed limit (car shifted to 3rd before I got on the brakes, though). The next light, he refused to pull up next to me, and we turned around, I collected the $50, but now, the guy & chick in the Porsche wanted a piece of me.

Round 2: Formula vs Porsche, $100 cash (turns out civic guy needed the $50, so Porsche guy was gonna "win it back" for him).

Loaded the converter to 3500rpm's this time, sitting at the red light. Porsche guy looked a little scared sitting there hearing all 8 cylinders singing a beautiful tune, and I think the 6-point also had him a little worried. Either way, light goes green, he punches it, and again I left a little later than he did (didn't want them crying about a foul start after all) but not much, maybe a half-second. Passed them on the rear wheels, holding the fronts about 2' up (according to his gf after the race) and I don't know if he lifted or if those porsche's just aren't as fast as I thought they were, but I swear I must've had them by 2 lengths before it hit 2nd, and 3rd gear just sealed the deal (again, got sideways on the 1-2 and 2-3 shifts) with something that could only be measured in C-130 lengths.

Either way, made myself some fast $150 cash, most of which went to replace the 7 gallons of C-16 I burned as well as replace the now-fouled new plugs (not as well tuned as I had thought), and I'm hoping for more stupid kids this Fall since I need me some truck buying money.

Also, they both learned a VERY valuable lesson: always think twice before challenging a car with numbers and a ****ty paint job on it. Might be one of them there sleepers. And if you hear "thump thump" at idle, that's not the bad plugs the owner was telling you about, that's a CAM.

Sorry about no kills in the HHR yet, and I don't know if I'll mod the HHR at all. After all, it's my first good-running car that doesn't need a transmission, engine, or differential yanked every 3 months because something broke.