$2 bill
I think you found the queerest bill of them all. 
Senior Member
Joined: 05-19-2008
Posts: 878
From: San Diego
A...."How OLD are you"....Story...
IF YOU’RE AS OLD AS I AM - THIS IS A RIOT! Everyone should start carrying them! I am STILL laughing!! I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn’t know they exist.
STORY:
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to
eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: “Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go “
Server: “That’ll be $1..04. Eat in?”
Me: “No, it’s to go.” At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: “Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.” He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
Server: “Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?”
Manager: “No. A what?”
Server: “A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me.”
Manager: “Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.”
Server: “Yeah, thought so.” He comes back to me and says, “We don’t take these. Do you have anything else?”
Me: “Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why?”
Server: “I don’t know.”
Me: “See here where it says legal tender?”
Server: “Yeah.”
Me: “So, why won’t you take it?”
Server: “Well, hang on a sec.” He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, “He says I have to take it.”
Manager: “Doesn’t he have anything else?”
Server: “Yeah, a fifty.. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change “
Manager: “I’m not opening the safe with him in here.”
Server: “What should I do?”
Manager: “Tell him to come back later when he has real money.”
Server: “I can’t tell him that! You tell him.”
Manager: “Just tell him...”
Server: “No way! This is weird. I’m going in back.”
The manager approaches me and says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night..
Me: “It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.”
Manager: “We don’t take those, either.”
Me: “Why not?”
Manager: “I think you know why.”
Me: “No really, tell me why.”
Manager: “Please leave before I call mall security.”
Me: “What on earth for?”
Manager: “Please, sir.”
Me: “Uh, go ahead, call them.”
Manager: “Would you please just leave?”
Me: “No.”
Manager: “Fine—have it your way then.”
Me: “Hey, that’s from Burger King, isn’t it?”
At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in..
Guard: “Yeah, Mike, what’s up?”
Manager (whispering): “This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.”
Guard: “No kidding! What?”
Manager: “Get this ... A two dollar bill.”
Guard (incredulo us): “ Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?”
Manager: “I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.
“Guard: “Oh, so the fifty’s fake!”
Manager: “No, the two dollar bill is.”
Guard: “Why would he fake a two dollar bill?”
Manager: “I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?”
Guard: “Yeah.”
Security Guard walks over to me and...... “Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.”
Me: “Uh, no.”
Guard: “Lemme see ‘em..”
Me: “Why?”
Guard:“Do you want me to get the cops in here?”
At this point I am ready to say, “Sure, please!” but I want to eat, so I say “I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.”
I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, “Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?”
Manager: “It’s fake.”
Guard: “It doesn’t look fake to me.”
Manager: “But it’s a two dollar bill.”
Guard: “Yeah?”
Manager: “Well, there’s no such thing, is there?”
The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.
STORY:
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to
eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: “Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go “
Server: “That’ll be $1..04. Eat in?”
Me: “No, it’s to go.” At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: “Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.” He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
Server: “Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?”
Manager: “No. A what?”
Server: “A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me.”
Manager: “Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.”
Server: “Yeah, thought so.” He comes back to me and says, “We don’t take these. Do you have anything else?”
Me: “Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why?”
Server: “I don’t know.”
Me: “See here where it says legal tender?”
Server: “Yeah.”
Me: “So, why won’t you take it?”
Server: “Well, hang on a sec.” He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, “He says I have to take it.”
Manager: “Doesn’t he have anything else?”
Server: “Yeah, a fifty.. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change “
Manager: “I’m not opening the safe with him in here.”
Server: “What should I do?”
Manager: “Tell him to come back later when he has real money.”
Server: “I can’t tell him that! You tell him.”
Manager: “Just tell him...”
Server: “No way! This is weird. I’m going in back.”
The manager approaches me and says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night..
Me: “It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.”
Manager: “We don’t take those, either.”
Me: “Why not?”
Manager: “I think you know why.”
Me: “No really, tell me why.”
Manager: “Please leave before I call mall security.”
Me: “What on earth for?”
Manager: “Please, sir.”
Me: “Uh, go ahead, call them.”
Manager: “Would you please just leave?”
Me: “No.”
Manager: “Fine—have it your way then.”
Me: “Hey, that’s from Burger King, isn’t it?”
At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in..
Guard: “Yeah, Mike, what’s up?”
Manager (whispering): “This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.”
Guard: “No kidding! What?”
Manager: “Get this ... A two dollar bill.”
Guard (incredulo us): “ Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?”
Manager: “I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.
“Guard: “Oh, so the fifty’s fake!”
Manager: “No, the two dollar bill is.”
Guard: “Why would he fake a two dollar bill?”
Manager: “I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?”
Guard: “Yeah.”
Security Guard walks over to me and...... “Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.”
Me: “Uh, no.”
Guard: “Lemme see ‘em..”
Me: “Why?”
Guard:“Do you want me to get the cops in here?”
At this point I am ready to say, “Sure, please!” but I want to eat, so I say “I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.”
I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, “Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?”
Manager: “It’s fake.”
Guard: “It doesn’t look fake to me.”
Manager: “But it’s a two dollar bill.”
Guard: “Yeah?”
Manager: “Well, there’s no such thing, is there?”
The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.
Senior Member
Joined: 10-19-2005
Posts: 20,687
From: Miami
Wow!! Just unbelievable..............no, not because this story is so funny........It just so happens to have happened to solman as well!!!!!
Thread merger please.
Last edited by HillsdaleHHR; Jun 27, 2008 at 06:09 PM. Reason: Merged
Senior Member
Joined: 11-14-2007
Posts: 1,240
From: Planet Earth
Not just a $2 bill but the NEW $5 bill...
My daughters went to get their nails done.
They pay with the two new $5 bills.
The lady (who is Asian) looks at the $5 bill and goes nuts sreaming that my daughters are trying to pay with counterfit money. The mall police come, look at the $5 bill and explain that this is the NEW $5 bill.
The lady says, "So you are in on it too. I Call police, I call police."
It just so happens that Montgomery County's finest were there on another situation and came over. The cop looks at the bill and then pulls one out his wallet and shows the lady.
She freaks out and says something about the cops being in on counterfit too. My daughters can't stop laughing.
Then another customer shows the lady the new $5 bill. Now this lady is screaming "Counterfit money all over mall!"
The cop gives my daughter a ten for 2 fives, my daughter pays with the ten and everybody is happy.
As my daughters are walking out the door with the cop, they are all laughing shaking their heads, the shop lady yells, "Don't come back here with phoney money anymore!"
My daughters went to get their nails done.
They pay with the two new $5 bills.
The lady (who is Asian) looks at the $5 bill and goes nuts sreaming that my daughters are trying to pay with counterfit money. The mall police come, look at the $5 bill and explain that this is the NEW $5 bill.
The lady says, "So you are in on it too. I Call police, I call police."
It just so happens that Montgomery County's finest were there on another situation and came over. The cop looks at the bill and then pulls one out his wallet and shows the lady.
She freaks out and says something about the cops being in on counterfit too. My daughters can't stop laughing.
Then another customer shows the lady the new $5 bill. Now this lady is screaming "Counterfit money all over mall!"
The cop gives my daughter a ten for 2 fives, my daughter pays with the ten and everybody is happy.
As my daughters are walking out the door with the cop, they are all laughing shaking their heads, the shop lady yells, "Don't come back here with phoney money anymore!"
Senior Member
Joined: 06-21-2008
Posts: 1,458
From: SE Michigan
My wife worked at a convenience store as a teenager, one day a customer came in and asked if they took Hawaiian money..... she asked her manager and was a bit embarassed when she was reminded that Hawaii was part of the United States....
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