"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

 

"Take my wife, please" - Henny Youngman

 

"Its time to kick a$$ and chew bubble gum, and im all out of gum" -duke nukem-

 

"Don't mistake activity with achievement." John Wooden

 

Love Coach Wooden. One of the few celebrities I've met in person.
I would highly recommend any of his books......

 

For those who think the know their souls stare deep in there hearts and listen to the echo

Corrosion of Conformity

 

"confusius says man with itchy butt wakes up with stinky finger"

 

Don't you find it funny that Monday (M) and Tuesday (T), the rest of the week says WTF ?

 

Hey, y'all watch this... AnUTy redneck trying to impress their friends.

 

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin