Pre-Nup
10-18-2008, 01:58 AM
#11
Senior Member
Join Date: 01-24-2008
Location: USA
Posts: 725
I have changed my ideas on Pre-Nups substantially in the past 20-25 years. Originallly, I never would have even considered it for the same reasons that most people feel. Seems to put one foot in the grave for the marriage.
However, my entire life I have saved everything for my wife to have if something happens to me, and then to go to my daughter. I have substantial life insurance just for that reason. It would be a real bummer to have someone walk into my daughter's life and take that away.
So for that reason, both my daughter and future son-in-law have plans to seperate what she will come into the marriage with and what he brings to the table. What they earn and build on in their married lives will equally be theirs.
Here's hoping they can have 35 great years together like my wife and I - and still counting......
However, my entire life I have saved everything for my wife to have if something happens to me, and then to go to my daughter. I have substantial life insurance just for that reason. It would be a real bummer to have someone walk into my daughter's life and take that away.
So for that reason, both my daughter and future son-in-law have plans to seperate what she will come into the marriage with and what he brings to the table. What they earn and build on in their married lives will equally be theirs.
Here's hoping they can have 35 great years together like my wife and I - and still counting......
10-18-2008, 09:29 PM
#12
Senior Member
Join Date: 01-31-2007
Location: New Hampsha
Posts: 2,479
don't get married...get a dog and be happy the rest of your life 
Dog will give you unconditional love for the next 15-20 years........
Now I love my wife but every now and then we go to the mall and visit the Pet store and that little doggie in the window looks real good on some days
Goose
Dog will give you unconditional love for the next 15-20 years........
Now I love my wife but every now and then we go to the mall and visit the Pet store and that little doggie in the window looks real good on some days
Goose
10-18-2008, 09:47 PM
#13
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: 06-29-2008
Location: Crystal Lake
Posts: 839
WOW, notwithstanding what the lawyer chimed in, I'm worried about your marriage from the start if you're seeking a pre-nup and dont' have millions in assets to protect.
That said, I agree with the lawyer, I wouldn't want to get stuck with someone else's bills but how deep is she in for? Likely you'll pay off the loans before your marriage falls apart. (lets hope it doesn't). Have you been together long? how old are you? I know it's personnel but if you're writing this as a 21 year old fresh out of college and getting married, then I'd get the pre-nup. I got married at 28, long after my playing days were over and had dated enough girls to know what I was getting into. Pre-nup wasn't needed. She didn't bring more than 6K in debt to the marriage. I had none.
Consult a lawyer at least to rest your conscience and maybe get some good advice.
And best wishes to you and your loved one.
Jim
That said, I agree with the lawyer, I wouldn't want to get stuck with someone else's bills but how deep is she in for? Likely you'll pay off the loans before your marriage falls apart. (lets hope it doesn't). Have you been together long? how old are you? I know it's personnel but if you're writing this as a 21 year old fresh out of college and getting married, then I'd get the pre-nup. I got married at 28, long after my playing days were over and had dated enough girls to know what I was getting into. Pre-nup wasn't needed. She didn't bring more than 6K in debt to the marriage. I had none.
Consult a lawyer at least to rest your conscience and maybe get some good advice.
And best wishes to you and your loved one.
Jim
I understand, Biggest Debt she has is Student loans and those will be around for a long time. We owe about 5k in Credit Cards and we owe on the HHR and Her Galant. We still both live at home and out looking to Rent Soon. So no house to worry about. Both Car's are in my name and she Co-signed Her car.
We have been together for five and half year's. Some might call this already Married.
10-18-2008, 09:48 PM
#14
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: 06-29-2008
Location: Crystal Lake
Posts: 839
don't get married...get a dog and be happy the rest of your life
Dog will give you unconditional love for the next 15-20 years........
Now I love my wife but every now and then we go to the mall and visit the Pet store and that little doggie in the window looks real good on some days
Goose
Dog will give you unconditional love for the next 15-20 years........
Now I love my wife but every now and then we go to the mall and visit the Pet store and that little doggie in the window looks real good on some days
Goose
Already Got one!! One and half year old Boston Terrier.. Its our Kid.
10-18-2008, 11:36 PM
#15
Senior Member
Join Date: 01-31-2007
Location: New Hampsha
Posts: 2,479
Screw renting...find yourself a small house or a condo and take full advantage of the tax benefits it provides. Renting just pouring money down a sewer hole.
I'm paying less on my mortgage than some of my friends are paying in rent. And I get a nice tax write off at the end of the year unless the socialists are elected...then I'll probably have to redistribute my "wealth" lmao or have it done for me
But seriously...this is a fantastic buying opportunity for real estate...prices have come way down...i haven't seen prices like this in New England since maybe 2002
Try to reconsolidate your debt and cut where you can before you tie the knot...if it means dumping the cars do it and drive s-boxes for a few years until you can get your financial feet under you. Going into marriage in debt is a tough sell
Before I got married I remember a co-worker telling me that the once thing that puts the greatest strain on a marriage is finances. I sort of blew him off thinking "Hey we are head over in heels in loves" that trumps all.....buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........trust me when I say I learned that lesson in spades..most of the arguments that you will have will be about finances
jmo I guess but the more you can get your financial house in order before you tie the knot the better off you both will be
Go Sox
Goose
I'm paying less on my mortgage than some of my friends are paying in rent. And I get a nice tax write off at the end of the year unless the socialists are elected...then I'll probably have to redistribute my "wealth" lmao or have it done for me
But seriously...this is a fantastic buying opportunity for real estate...prices have come way down...i haven't seen prices like this in New England since maybe 2002
Try to reconsolidate your debt and cut where you can before you tie the knot...if it means dumping the cars do it and drive s-boxes for a few years until you can get your financial feet under you. Going into marriage in debt is a tough sell
Before I got married I remember a co-worker telling me that the once thing that puts the greatest strain on a marriage is finances. I sort of blew him off thinking "Hey we are head over in heels in loves" that trumps all.....buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........trust me when I say I learned that lesson in spades..most of the arguments that you will have will be about finances
jmo I guess but the more you can get your financial house in order before you tie the knot the better off you both will be
Go Sox
Goose
10-19-2008, 12:55 AM
#16
Senior Member
Join Date: 09-21-2006
Location: Fairbury, NE
Posts: 862
Screw renting...find yourself a small house or a condo and take full advantage of the tax benefits it provides. Renting just pouring money down a sewer hole.
I'm paying less on my mortgage than some of my friends are paying in rent. And I get a nice tax write off at the end of the year unless the socialists are elected...then I'll probably have to redistribute my "wealth" lmao or have it done for me
But seriously...this is a fantastic buying opportunity for real estate...prices have come way down...i haven't seen prices like this in New England since maybe 2002
Try to reconsolidate your debt and cut where you can before you tie the knot...if it means dumping the cars do it and drive s-boxes for a few years until you can get your financial feet under you. Going into marriage in debt is a tough sell
Before I got married I remember a co-worker telling me that the once thing that puts the greatest strain on a marriage is finances. I sort of blew him off thinking "Hey we are head over in heels in loves" that trumps all.....buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........trust me when I say I learned that lesson in spades..most of the arguments that you will have will be about finances
jmo I guess but the more you can get your financial house in order before you tie the knot the better off you both will be
Go Sox
Goose
I'm paying less on my mortgage than some of my friends are paying in rent. And I get a nice tax write off at the end of the year unless the socialists are elected...then I'll probably have to redistribute my "wealth" lmao or have it done for me
But seriously...this is a fantastic buying opportunity for real estate...prices have come way down...i haven't seen prices like this in New England since maybe 2002
Try to reconsolidate your debt and cut where you can before you tie the knot...if it means dumping the cars do it and drive s-boxes for a few years until you can get your financial feet under you. Going into marriage in debt is a tough sell
Before I got married I remember a co-worker telling me that the once thing that puts the greatest strain on a marriage is finances. I sort of blew him off thinking "Hey we are head over in heels in loves" that trumps all.....buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........trust me when I say I learned that lesson in spades..most of the arguments that you will have will be about finances
jmo I guess but the more you can get your financial house in order before you tie the knot the better off you both will be
Go Sox
Goose
Totally makes sense. Buying a house now is a great oppurtonity, right now is a buyers market. Why dump money into someones elses mortage, put it into your own. In a few years, the houseing market should pick up again and your home value will too.As with the finances, very true, most couples have problems and arguemnets about the finances. And its the one thing that can strain the relationship or even break it. Of course if you do purchase a house, make sure you base it on what you can afford on one income only, even if you both have incomes.
10-19-2008, 09:04 AM
#17
Senior Member
Join Date: 09-11-2007
Location: Palm Bay, Florida
Posts: 1,378
You don't need to be a millionaire to get a prenup. My X was out with another before we split. She got half my pension benefits, half my investments, I got to buy her half of the house we bought together. She had cashed in all her investments and had no assets to split. I went from being debt free, execpting for the mortgage to more than $60K in the hole. (1983) Divorce is a reality in more than 50% of marriages. I would never remarry (and haven't) without a prenup. Even my divorce lawyer recommended it.
10-19-2008, 09:33 AM
#18
Senior Member
Join Date: 05-26-2006
Location: kankakee, IL
Posts: 266
[QUOTE=AJochum;320693]However, my entire life I have saved everything for my wife to have if something happens to me, and then to go to my daughter. I have substantial life insurance just for that reason. It would be a real bummer to have someone walk into my daughter's life and take that away.[QUOTE]
You can and should have a will drawn up that specifically excludes any future spouses,step-children,or children of the new marriage for any assets that are intended for your children. Also specify your children as beneficiaries as well as your wife so that a designated percentage goes into a trust for them,untouchable even by your wife.
You can and should have a will drawn up that specifically excludes any future spouses,step-children,or children of the new marriage for any assets that are intended for your children. Also specify your children as beneficiaries as well as your wife so that a designated percentage goes into a trust for them,untouchable even by your wife.
10-19-2008, 09:36 AM
#19
Senior Member
Join Date: 05-26-2006
Location: kankakee, IL
Posts: 266
You don't need to be a millionaire to get a prenup. My X was out with another before we split. She got half my pension benefits, half my investments, I got to buy her half of the house we bought together. She had cashed in all her investments and had no assets to split. I went from being debt free, execpting for the mortgage to more than $60K in the hole. (1983) Divorce is a reality in more than 50% of marriages. I would never remarry (and haven't) without a prenup. Even my divorce lawyer recommended it.
The comedian Chris Rock said " If you got 30 million and your wife takes half, you still got 15 million. You`re ok. If you got 30 thousand and your wife takes half,your homeless."
10-19-2008, 10:08 AM
#20
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: 06-29-2008
Location: Crystal Lake
Posts: 839
Screw renting...find yourself a small house or a condo and take full advantage of the tax benefits it provides. Renting just pouring money down a sewer hole.
I'm paying less on my mortgage than some of my friends are paying in rent. And I get a nice tax write off at the end of the year unless the socialists are elected...then I'll probably have to redistribute my "wealth" lmao or have it done for me
But seriously...this is a fantastic buying opportunity for real estate...prices have come way down...i haven't seen prices like this in New England since maybe 2002
Try to reconsolidate your debt and cut where you can before you tie the knot...if it means dumping the cars do it and drive s-boxes for a few years until you can get your financial feet under you. Going into marriage in debt is a tough sell
Before I got married I remember a co-worker telling me that the once thing that puts the greatest strain on a marriage is finances. I sort of blew him off thinking "Hey we are head over in heels in loves" that trumps all.....buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........trust me when I say I learned that lesson in spades..most of the arguments that you will have will be about finances
jmo I guess but the more you can get your financial house in order before you tie the knot the better off you both will be
Go Sox
Goose
I'm paying less on my mortgage than some of my friends are paying in rent. And I get a nice tax write off at the end of the year unless the socialists are elected...then I'll probably have to redistribute my "wealth" lmao or have it done for me
But seriously...this is a fantastic buying opportunity for real estate...prices have come way down...i haven't seen prices like this in New England since maybe 2002
Try to reconsolidate your debt and cut where you can before you tie the knot...if it means dumping the cars do it and drive s-boxes for a few years until you can get your financial feet under you. Going into marriage in debt is a tough sell
Before I got married I remember a co-worker telling me that the once thing that puts the greatest strain on a marriage is finances. I sort of blew him off thinking "Hey we are head over in heels in loves" that trumps all.....buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........trust me when I say I learned that lesson in spades..most of the arguments that you will have will be about finances
jmo I guess but the more you can get your financial house in order before you tie the knot the better off you both will be
Go Sox
Goose
We looked but driving 45miles one way for a 900 Mortage and spend $400 in Fuel isn't do able right now.