these are all things i can control on my hu but im lost as to what they do/mean

subwoffer phase - normal and reverse


cut off frequency - from 50 up to 200 hz (i kinda understand this one but where should it be set?)

high pass filter - –12—–6—Pass (0) (dB/oct.)
# If you set the slope to 0 dB/oct. (Pass), the
audio signal bypasses the filter, so the filter does
not have an effect.



last time i was serious about a car stereo a punch 45 was the **** so dont laugh too hard at me

 

Well, it's been awhile since I tricked out a stereo too but I think I can answer your questions.
If the subwoofer polarity is wired correctly, just choose "normal". How can you be sure? An out of phase subwoofer will have the bass response attenuated (reduced). So if you reverse the polarity and you hear more bass, leave it that way.
You probably understand that this adjusts your crossover to determine what frequencies are directed to the subwoofer. It's really a matter of personal preference so play something you're familiar with and choose different crossover frequencies until you like the sound. The higher the setting, the more low end signal directed to the subwoofer.
I'm not a big fan of using a high pass filter- not sure why you would want to filter the high end except maybe to reduce hiss- not a big deal these days. I'd bypass the filter.
Having said all that, I'm sure an expert will have more to add or correct me!