This is funny...Watch the video.

----->> http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:c...:cmt.com:40319

Cajun / Al

 

OMG that is FUNNY!
Thanks for the laugh Cajun

 

I knew that was really you, I going to kick your ass!!!

 

The Cardiologist's Funeral

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart
forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes
stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral......... I'm a gynecologist."

The proctologist fainted

 

Let's Offend Everybody!





Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?


A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.




Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?


A. A different bar.



Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?


A. Sum Ting Wong.



Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?


A. A speech impediment.



Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek ?


A. Because they're not going to work in the future either..



Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?


A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.



Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?


A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.



Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?


A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'



Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???


A. A northern fairytale begins...'Once upon a time...'

A southern fairytale begins..... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****.'



Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?


A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States

 

A cabbie picks up a Nun.



She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome
cab driver won't stop staring at her.



She asks him why he is staring.



He replies:
"I have a request to ask of you, but I don't want to offend you."



She answers,
"My son, you cannot offend me. When you have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."



"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."



She responds,
"Well, let's see what we can do about that:



#1, you have to be single and

#2, you must be Catholic."



The cab driver is very excited and says,
"Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"



"OK" the nun says. "Pull in to the next a alley."



The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would
make a hooker blush.



But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.



"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"



"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess,
I'm married and I'm Jewish."



The nun says, "That's OK.
My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

 

A man presumed to have been in a deep coma for 23 years. Rom Houben, 46, was paralysed in a car accident and declared to be in a persistent vegetative state.

Researchers using new diagnostic techniques discovered that he was not really in coma but that he was married.

 

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?
They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree.
He couldn't decide between a wood or an iron.

Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers.
They're set to be named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--
his new name? Cheetah!

Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

 

Once upon a time, a guy asked a beautiful girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End

 

t is near the Christmas break of the school year.

The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do.



All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.



Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."



Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.



Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.



Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.



When the teacher turns her back



Johnny says, "I wish these *****es would keep their mouths shut!"



The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"



Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"