Jokes
Senior Member
Joined: 08-06-2009
Posts: 181
From: Crestview,FL
In a small town a police man was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting in the car, are they planning on stealing it? Heavens no they replied we bought it. The policeman asks then why didn't you drive if off the lot? The old women reply neither of us can drive. So now the police man is puzzled and asks Well then why did you buy a car? Well we were told that if you bought a used car here you'd get screwed, So now we are just waiting
Founding Member
Joined: 11-23-2007
Posts: 8,210
From: Texas
Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus
payment.
This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and
A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of other nations?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go
to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Middle East.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
Honduras and Guatemala.
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
Spending it at yard sales, or going to ball games, or spending it on prostitutes, or beer or tattoos.
(These are a few of the only American businesses still operating in the US.)
I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale, and drink beer! Yay!
payment.
This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and
A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of other nations?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go
to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Middle East.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
Honduras and Guatemala.
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
Spending it at yard sales, or going to ball games, or spending it on prostitutes, or beer or tattoos.
(These are a few of the only American businesses still operating in the US.)
I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale, and drink beer! Yay!
Senior Member
Joined: 06-18-2006
Posts: 839
From: Hillcrest, San Diego, CA
Jack Daniel's Fishing Story
I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.
Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.
I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniel's and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, And carried on my fishing with the frog.
A little later I felt a nudge on my foot.
There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.
I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.
Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.
I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniel's and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, And carried on my fishing with the frog.
A little later I felt a nudge on my foot.
There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.
Senior Member
Joined: 12-30-2006
Posts: 1,141
From: Lake Conroe, Texas
The Ant and the Grasshopper
This one is a little different.....
Two Different Versions! ................... Two Different Morals!
OLD VERSION: The ant works
hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying
up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and
well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be
responsible for yourself
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat
all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the
winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant
should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of
the shivering grasshopper next
to a video of the ant in his comfortable
home with a table filled with food.. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah
with the grasshopper and
everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant 's house where the news stations film the group
singing, 'We shall overcome.' Rev. Jeremiah Wright then has the group
curse God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off
the back of the grasshopper, and
both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant
to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire an
aproportionate number of green bugs
and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the Government Green Czar.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper
finishing up the last bits of the ants
food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a
drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a
gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be careful how you vote
Two Different Versions! ................... Two Different Morals!
OLD VERSION: The ant works
hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying
up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and
well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be
responsible for yourself
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat
all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the
winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant
should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of
the shivering grasshopper next
to a video of the ant in his comfortable
home with a table filled with food.. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah
with the grasshopper and
everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant 's house where the news stations film the group
singing, 'We shall overcome.' Rev. Jeremiah Wright then has the group
curse God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off
the back of the grasshopper, and
both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant
to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire an
aproportionate number of green bugs
and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the Government Green Czar.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper
finishing up the last bits of the ants
food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a
drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a
gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be careful how you vote
Senior Member
Joined: 06-18-2006
Posts: 839
From: Hillcrest, San Diego, CA
Career Test
An old southern country preacher from Georgia had a teenage son named David,
and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a
profession.
Like many young men, the boy didn't have a clue what he wanted to do, and
didn't Seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an
experiment.
He went into the boy's room and placed four objects on his desk: - A Bible -
A silver dollar - A bottle of Jack Daniels whisky - A Playboy magazine.
The old preacher then says to himself "I'll just hide behind the door, and
when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he
picks up.
If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing
that would be!
If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be
OK; but if picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and,
Lord, what
a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that horrible
magazine he's
gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps entering
the house and whistling and he headed for his room.
The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave spotted the
objects on the desk.
With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
He picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm, dropped the silver
dollar into his pocket,
Uncorked the bottle, and chugged a big long drink while he studied the
details of this month's centerfold.
"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna be a
Marine!"
and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a
profession.
Like many young men, the boy didn't have a clue what he wanted to do, and
didn't Seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an
experiment.
He went into the boy's room and placed four objects on his desk: - A Bible -
A silver dollar - A bottle of Jack Daniels whisky - A Playboy magazine.
The old preacher then says to himself "I'll just hide behind the door, and
when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he
picks up.
If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing
that would be!
If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be
OK; but if picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and,
Lord, what
a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that horrible
magazine he's
gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps entering
the house and whistling and he headed for his room.
The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave spotted the
objects on the desk.
With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
He picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm, dropped the silver
dollar into his pocket,
Uncorked the bottle, and chugged a big long drink while he studied the
details of this month's centerfold.
"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna be a
Marine!"
Senior Member
Joined: 05-19-2008
Posts: 878
From: San Diego
I reall liked the Marine one above......LOL
================================================== =========
Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus
payment.
This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and
A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of other nations?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go
to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Middle East.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
Honduras and Guatemala.
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
Spending it at yard sales, or going to football games, or spending it on prostitutes, or beer or tattoos.
(These are a few of the only American businesses still operating in the US.)
So...I'm going to go to a football game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale, and drink beer! Yay!
================================================== =========
Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus
payment.
This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and
A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of other nations?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go
to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Middle East.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
Honduras and Guatemala.
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
Spending it at yard sales, or going to football games, or spending it on prostitutes, or beer or tattoos.
(These are a few of the only American businesses still operating in the US.)
So...I'm going to go to a football game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale, and drink beer! Yay!
ChiaObama
Senior Member
Joined: 10-02-2005
Posts: 1,245
From: VA
temperance....
The ultra-conservative preacher was getting to the end of his "fire and brimstone" sermon on temperance and with great emphasis, he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"
With even greater emphasis and a louder voice, he said, "And, if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"
Finally, shouting and raising his shaking fist into the air, he yelled, "If I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"
Sermon complete, he sat down.
The choir leader, with a strange look on his face, stood cautiously and announced, "For our closing hymn, let us sing....
"Hymn #365.... Shall We Gather At The River".....
With even greater emphasis and a louder voice, he said, "And, if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"
Finally, shouting and raising his shaking fist into the air, he yelled, "If I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"
Sermon complete, he sat down.
The choir leader, with a strange look on his face, stood cautiously and announced, "For our closing hymn, let us sing....
"Hymn #365.... Shall We Gather At The River".....
Senior Member
Joined: 06-01-2008
Posts: 210
From: Massachusetts
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead > >>>> people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
------
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead > >>>> people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
------
Senior Member
Joined: 12-30-2006
Posts: 1,141
From: Lake Conroe, Texas
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I 've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"That's the Republic of Texas, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills,coast line, beaches, and plains. The people from the Republic of Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance..."
God smiled, "Right there is Washington DC. Wait till you see the idiots I put there."
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I 've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"That's the Republic of Texas, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills,coast line, beaches, and plains. The people from the Republic of Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance..."
God smiled, "Right there is Washington DC. Wait till you see the idiots I put there."