Jokes
Senior Member
Joined: 07-02-2013
Posts: 7,827
From: Claremont, CA
Two rival politicians are unexpectedly in the same bakery at the same time. One sneaks up to the other one and says, "See how clever I am, I have three pastries in my pocket and the store owner doesn't even know it, That is why I am going to win this election."
The other politician says, "That's what is wrong with you, everything is lies, deception, and fraud. I'll show you how to do this honestly."
The second politician goes to the shop owner and says, "If you give me three pastries I'll show you a magic trick"
The shop owner gives him three pastries and the politician proceeds to eat all three one by one. The shop owner asks, "Where the magic trick?" to which the politician says, pointing to the first politician, "If you want to see the three pastries reappear just look in his pocket!"
The other politician says, "That's what is wrong with you, everything is lies, deception, and fraud. I'll show you how to do this honestly."
The second politician goes to the shop owner and says, "If you give me three pastries I'll show you a magic trick"
The shop owner gives him three pastries and the politician proceeds to eat all three one by one. The shop owner asks, "Where the magic trick?" to which the politician says, pointing to the first politician, "If you want to see the three pastries reappear just look in his pocket!"
Senior Member
Joined: 07-02-2013
Posts: 7,827
From: Claremont, CA
Three older gentlemen were sitting in a bar talking about what they would want the person to say as their casket was being closed for the last time. The first one said, "I would want them to say, "'he was a devoted husband and father that loved his family dearly". The second man said, "I would like them to say 'He served humanity and left a profound legacy'" the third man said, "I would want them to say, "My God he is moving!"
Senior Member
Joined: 04-20-2011
Posts: 857
From: Ohio
That is funny!
I don't know if this is appropriate, but I was at a funeral last year for a friend that loved John Deere tractors. Having a history of custom painting ,I thought why can't we make custom painted caskets?
For his, I thought John Deere green w/ yellow stripes Maybe an air stack and exhaust pipe sticking out of the top.
For the trucker, paint it his favorite color with marker lites all around it. With a Mack bulldog on the top and Mack emblems on the side.
For the Cat guy, Cat yellow with flat black stripes. For the Hot rodder , 57 chevy fins on the side ,with Belair emblems painted turquoise and ivory.
The Nascar guy paint it his favorite team color with the big number on the side and top and sponsor stickers all over it.
I know I'm crazy, But it might work and nobody's done it.... john
I don't know if this is appropriate, but I was at a funeral last year for a friend that loved John Deere tractors. Having a history of custom painting ,I thought why can't we make custom painted caskets?
For his, I thought John Deere green w/ yellow stripes Maybe an air stack and exhaust pipe sticking out of the top.
For the trucker, paint it his favorite color with marker lites all around it. With a Mack bulldog on the top and Mack emblems on the side.
For the Cat guy, Cat yellow with flat black stripes. For the Hot rodder , 57 chevy fins on the side ,with Belair emblems painted turquoise and ivory.
The Nascar guy paint it his favorite team color with the big number on the side and top and sponsor stickers all over it.
I know I'm crazy, But it might work and nobody's done it.... john
