An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."

 

Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."

Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"

Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."

 

What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.

 

What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.

 

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.