Lyrics to Hocus Pocus by Focus you're a hoot

 

I guess it is somewhat of a stretch to call those 'lyrics'. Kind of like 'Sun Goddess' by Ramsey Lewis/Earth, Wind, and Fire.

Way-o, way-o, bop way-o, way-o, ho........etc.

 

Must of been mid afternoon
As I could tell by how far the child's shadow stretched out
And he walked with a purpose in his sneakers, down the street
He had many questions like children often do

He said, "Tell me all your thoughts on God?
And tell me am I very far?"

Must of been late afternoon
As on our way the sun broke free of the clouds
We count only blue cars skip the cracks, in the street
And ask many questions like children often do

We said, "Tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I would really like to meet her
And ask her why we're who we are
Tell me all your thoughts on God
'Cause I am on my way to see her
So tell me am I very far, am I very far now?"

Ask many questions
Like children often do

"Tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I would really like to meet her
And ask her why we're who we are, tell
And tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I am on my way to see her
So tell me am I very far
Am I very far now, am I very far now, am I very far now?
Tell me all your thoughts on God?

 

Frank Zappa ~ Zomby Woof from Over-Nite Sensation (1973)

Three hunderd years ago
Thought I might get some sleep
Stretched myself out onna antique bed
An' my spirit did a midnight creep

You know I'll never sleep no more

To me it seem that is just ain't wise

Didja ever wake up in the mornin'
With a ZOMBY WOOF behind your eyes

I am the ZOMBY WOOF
I'm the creature all the ladies been
Talkin' about

I am the ZOMBY WOOF
They all seek for shelter when I come chargin' out
Here I'm is, the ZOMBY WOOF

Tellin' you all the Zomby troof
Here I'm is...

Reety-awrighty, he da ZOMBY WOOF
Reety-awrighty, he da ZOMBY WOOF

The said aw-reety
An' they was aw-righty
An' I was a Zomby for you, little lady...

I got a great big pointed fang
Which is my Zomby Toof
My right foot is bigger than my other one is
Like a reg'lar Zomby Hoof
If I raid your dormitorium
Don't try to remain aloof...

I might snatch you up screamin' through the window all nekkid
An' do it to you on the roof, don't mess with the
ZOMBY WOOF

I am about as evil as a Boogie Man can be!

Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the ZOMBY WOOF

Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the ZOMBY WOOF

 

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago
His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato

She's in love with a boy
From the rodeo
Who pulls the rope on the chute
When they let those suckers go

He's a slobberin' drunk at the Palomino
They give him thirty days in San Ber'dino

Well there's forty-four men
Stashed away in tank "C"
An' there's only one shower
But it don't apply to Bobby

You may think they're
Dumb an' lonely
But you're wrong
'Cause their love is strong
Stacked-up hair
An' a cheap little ring
They don't care
'Cause it don't mean a thing

Looka there...
They don't care

Best-est way that
They can feel-o
Out on the highway
Rollin' a wheel-o
He's her Tootsie
She's for real-o
Trailer park heaven
It's a real good deal-o
Real good deal-o
Real good deal-o
Real good deal-o

The rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino
Gonna spend the rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino
The rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino
Come on with me
Come on with me
Come on with me
Down in San Ber'dino
Just 60 miles, 60 miles
Down the San Ber'dino freeway
They got some dark green air
An' you can choke all day
That's right!
Gonna spend the rest of their lives
Rest of their lives
Rest of their lives

Say now
Ain't talkin' 'bout Fontana
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout the Redlands, no no
ZULCH is the auto works
I'm telling you
That's where they take
All the cars that they hurt
Come on and let's all go down to San Ber'dino
Ooo-ooo
Ooo-ooo
Ooo-ooo
Let's-a go down down down
Down in San Ber'dino
Wouldja b'lieve it
San Ber'dino
San Ber'dino
(Got to call it)
San Ber'dino
(C'mere)
San Ber'dino
etc., etc., etc.
The rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino

Oh Bobby, I'm sorry you gotta head like a potato
I really am


I happen to live in San Ber'dino (San Bernardino) California!

 

Here is one of Franks that sets country music back 200 years.

Harder Than Your Husband

We must say good-bye
There's no need for you to cry
It's better that I tell you this tonight
Our affair has been quite heated
You thought I was what you needed
But the time has come, my darlin'
To set things right, 'cause

I'll be harder than yer husband
To get along with
Harder than yer husband every night
Harder than yer husband
Harder than yer husband
An' I don't want our love affair
To end with a fight

You been like a little angel
How you loved me
I appreciate the warmth of your embrace
Well, the world don't need to know
How I adored you
But there's somethin' I must tell you, darlin'
Face to face. . .

I'll be harder than yer husband
To get along with
Harder than yer husband every night
Harder than yer husband
Harder than yer husband
An' I don't want our love affair
To end with a fight

So, it's adios, adios, my little darlin'
(Adios my little darlin'. . .)
Gotta go now. . .
Keep that hankie that I gave you for when you cry
There are things that trouble me
And I'm sure that you must see
That it breaks my heart the same as yours
When we say good-bye

Harder than yer husband
Harder than yer. . .much, much, much
Harder than yer husband
Harder than yer. . .much, much, much
Harder than yer husband
Harder than yer.. .much, much, much
Harder than yer husband
Harder than yer.. .

 

The one I posted doesn't do much for San Bernardino......

 

At least San Bernadino was deserving of a Zappa song, AND I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. LOL

 

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook's
Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein
Werewolves of London

If you hear him howling around your kitchen door
Better not let him in
Little old lady got mutilated late last night
Werewolves of London again
Werewolves of London

He's the hairy handed gent who ran amuck in Kent
Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair
Better stay away from him
He'll rip your lungs out, Jim
I'd like to meet his tailor
Werewolves of London

Well, I saw Lon Chaney walking with the Queen
Doing the werewolves of London
I saw Lon Chaney, Jr. walking with the Queen
Doing the werewolves of London
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's
His hair was perfect
Werewolves of London again
Draw blood

 

It was the BLACKEST NIGHT!
There was no MOON in sight!
(You know the stars ain't shinin'
'Cause the sky's too tight)
I heard the SCARY WIND!
I seen some UGLY TREES!
There was a WEREWOLF honkin',
'Long the side of me!

I'm MEAN 'n I'm BAD, (y'know I ain't no SISSY)
Got a BIG-TITTY GIRLY by the name of 'CHRISSY'
Talkin' about her 'N MY BIKE 'N ME...
'N this ride up THE MOUNTAIN OF MYSTERY, (mystery)

(How 're you doin'?)

I noticed EVEN THE CRICKETS
Acted WEIRD up here
And so I figured I might
Just drink a little BEER
I said, "Gimme summa that what yer suckin' on..."
But there was NO REPLY
'Cause SHE WAS GONE!

"Where's those TITTIES I like so well,
'n' my GODDAM BEER!"
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped THE DEVIL!
(He's about THIS BIG!)

He had a RED SUIT on
An' a WIDOW'S PEAK
An' then a POINTED TAIL
'N like a SULPHUR REEK,
Yes, it was HIM awright,
I swear I KNOWED IT WAS!
He had some HUMAN FLESH
Stuck underneath his CLAWS
You know, it looked to me
Like it was TITTY SKIN!
I said, "YOU SON-OF-A-*****!"
('Cause I was MAD at him!)
He just got out his floss
'N started cleanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter,
Said: BANG! BANG! BANG!

Then the sucker just laughed 'n said: "Put it away!
You know, I ate her all up...now what you
gonna say?"
YOU ATE MY CHRISSY?
"Yeah! TITTIES 'N ALL!"
WELL WHAT ABOUT THE BEER THEN?
"Now, were the cans THIS tall?"
EVEN HER BOOTS?
"Would I LIE to you?"
****, YOU MUSTA BEEN HUNGRY!
"Yeah, THIS is TRUE."
DON'T THEY PAY YOU GOOD FOR THE
STUFF THAT YOU DO?
"Well, you know, I can't complain when the checks come through..."
WELL I WANT MY CHRISSY,
Oh yeah?
'N I WANT MY BEER
Hah!
SO YOU JUST BARF IT BACK UP!
NOW, DEVIL, DO YOU HEAR?
Look:
"Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man!
I mean, I am THE DEVIL, do you UNDERSTAND?
Just WHAT WILL YOU GIVE ME for your
TITTIES AND BEER?
I suppose you noticed this little
CONTRACT here..."
YER GODDAM RIGHT, YOU SON-OF-A-WHORE!
Don't call me that!
THAT'S ABOUT THE ONLY REASON
I LEARNED WRITIN' FOR!
GIMME THAT PAPER! BET YER HORNS I'LL SIGN!
BECAUSE I NEED A BEER, 'N IT'S TITTY-
SQUEEZIN' TIME!
"Man, you can't fool ME! You ain't THAT bad!
Oh yeah?
Why YOU SHOULDA SEEN some of the SOULS THAT I'VE HAD!
There was MILHOUS NIXON 'N AGNEW TOO!
'N both of those suckers was WORSE 'N YOU!"
LET'S MAKE A DEAL IF YOU THINK
THAT'S TRUE
I MEAN, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE DEVIL SO...WHATCHA
GONNA DO?
HEH?

Now hold on just a second...
You wanna make a deal with me hah?
Yeah!
Well ah, I don't know man, you know...
I just don't know about this...
What?
See, cause I...
Listen, you're...are you losing your nerve?
No man, it ain't got nothin' to do with nerve...
You're supposed to be the devil!
It's got to do...
You're supposed to be bad!
It's got to do with style, fool!
I don't know if you've the right style to get into hell,
you know...
Well, actually, to tell you...tell you the honest to God
truth,
I'm very short on style as a matter of fact...
Yeah, I know...that's...that's what makes me wonder
But I have...I, I think I have something that
you may be interested in...
What is that?
You can have my soul
It's a mean little sucker
'Bout a thousand years old
But once you gets it
You can't give it back
You gotta keep it forever
An' that's a natural fact!
Ooh wee!
Do you read me devil?
Oh yeah!
What? Am I supposed to be scared, man?
Oh yeah, Reety, aw-righty!
Oh yeah, that's real tough!
I bet you're real bad!
Listen fool, you've got to prove to me that you're rough
enough to get into hell
That you've got the style enough to get into hell
So start talkin'...
Alright, lemme tell ya somethin'
Alright!
I'll prove to you that I'm bad enough to go to hell
Yeah!
Because I have been through it!
Yeah!
I have seen it!
Yeah!
It has happened to me!
Yeah!
Remember, I was signed with Warner Brothers
for eight ****in' years!!!
Tell me about it!
Now you're talkin' about something!
Now how bad is that?
That sounds good to me, mother****er!
So move right along
Tell me what your interests are, you know...
if we're gonna come to some kind of agreement,
I've got to know what you're all about, you know...
'Cause I don't know if you're the right type for the...
for the place, you know
Look...lemme tell you what my problem really is, you see
OK...
My problem is that I don't belong anywhere
Aha...
You see... I don't even belong where you are, you see
I hope not!
I, I'm a simple person, you know
I have very small desires in life
Titties 'n beer, you know
No! What?
Titties 'n beer!
No! No man, you're joking...
Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer...
What? No! No please... No! Not that! Oh no man, no!
Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer...
No! No! No! No! No! Not titties 'n beer!
Oh I can't stand titties 'n beer!...
Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer...
(I'm in you! I'm in you!)
Oh no! No! No! Wait...
Ah! Look at this! What am I gonna do with this thing?
...Wait, wait, please no!
Hey! Look at this!

"No! Don't sign it! Give me time to think!
...hold on a second, boy, 'cause...that's
MAGIC INK!"

Then THE DEVIL barfed
'N out jumped my girl
They heard the TITTIES PLOP-PLOPPIN'
All around the world, she said:

"I GOT THREE BEERS 'N A FIST FULLA DOWNS,
AN' I'M GONNA GET RIPPED, SO ****
YOU CLOWNS!"

Then she gave us THE FINGER!
(It was rigid 'n stiff)
That's when THE DEVIL, she FARTED
An' SHE WENT RIGHT OVER THE CLIFF!
THE DEVIL WAS MAD!
(I took off to my pad)
I swear I DO DECLARE!
How did SHE get BACK THERE?
I swear I DO DECLARE!
How did SHE get BACK THERE?
I swear I DO DECLARE!
How did SHE get BACK THERE?
I swear I DO DECLARE!
How did SHE get BACK THERE?

Alright!

http://youtu.be/441-Vnv7cRY