Pre-Nup
10-19-2008, 10:48 AM
#21
Senior Member
Join Date: 01-24-2008
Location: USA
Posts: 725
I agree with Goose on buying vs. renting. However, there are areas of the country where it is prohibitive to buy a home and I suspect from your location you are near Chicago where prices are out of reach. Unfortunately, this housing boom was brought on by people going in over their heads.
Studies have stated that perhaps it is not the best thing to own a home but I disagree in general. Owning a home forces you to save, because you are building equity.
Am not sure you want to turn this into a counseling session, but you really should try to plan your life together - financially, committment, etc. I also think if you can't be in an area where homes are affordable, then it would be wise to give up expensive new cars, toys, etc. and save for the next five years so you can put $25 to $50,000 on a home.
If you live in my area, where you can get a beautiful home for $40 to $65,000, I would tell you 100% to purchase.
Studies have stated that perhaps it is not the best thing to own a home but I disagree in general. Owning a home forces you to save, because you are building equity.
Am not sure you want to turn this into a counseling session, but you really should try to plan your life together - financially, committment, etc. I also think if you can't be in an area where homes are affordable, then it would be wise to give up expensive new cars, toys, etc. and save for the next five years so you can put $25 to $50,000 on a home.
If you live in my area, where you can get a beautiful home for $40 to $65,000, I would tell you 100% to purchase.
10-19-2008, 12:38 PM
#22
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: 06-29-2008
Location: Crystal Lake
Posts: 839
I agree with Goose on buying vs. renting. However, there are areas of the country where it is prohibitive to buy a home and I suspect from your location you are near Chicago where prices are out of reach. Unfortunately, this housing boom was brought on by people going in over their heads.
Studies have stated that perhaps it is not the best thing to own a home but I disagree in general. Owning a home forces you to save, because you are building equity.
Am not sure you want to turn this into a counseling session, but you really should try to plan your life together - financially, committment, etc. I also think if you can't be in an area where homes are affordable, then it would be wise to give up expensive new cars, toys, etc. and save for the next five years so you can put $25 to $50,000 on a home.
If you live in my area, where you can get a beautiful home for $40 to $65,000, I would tell you 100% to purchase.
Studies have stated that perhaps it is not the best thing to own a home but I disagree in general. Owning a home forces you to save, because you are building equity.
Am not sure you want to turn this into a counseling session, but you really should try to plan your life together - financially, committment, etc. I also think if you can't be in an area where homes are affordable, then it would be wise to give up expensive new cars, toys, etc. and save for the next five years so you can put $25 to $50,000 on a home.
If you live in my area, where you can get a beautiful home for $40 to $65,000, I would tell you 100% to purchase.
Give u some back ground im 24 and so is she. With both live with are parents. She just graduated College in May and obviously is having a hard time finding a job for what she actually went to school for. She went to school for Fashion which is a cut throat business to begin with.
We COULD afford a home in Rockford which is 45miles from where im at. New housing can be had for anywhere between 90-150K for a decent house. We could make the Payment but we couldn't afford the taxes. Even in Rockford taxes are atleast $2500. Where im at right now your paying between $3-6k!
10-19-2008, 07:03 PM
#23
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: 06-29-2008
Location: Crystal Lake
Posts: 839
Screw renting...find yourself a small house or a condo and take full advantage of the tax benefits it provides. Renting just pouring money down a sewer hole.
I'm paying less on my mortgage than some of my friends are paying in rent. And I get a nice tax write off at the end of the year unless the socialists are elected...then I'll probably have to redistribute my "wealth" lmao or have it done for me
But seriously...this is a fantastic buying opportunity for real estate...prices have come way down...i haven't seen prices like this in New England since maybe 2002
Try to reconsolidate your debt and cut where you can before you tie the knot...if it means dumping the cars do it and drive s-boxes for a few years until you can get your financial feet under you. Going into marriage in debt is a tough sell
Before I got married I remember a co-worker telling me that the once thing that puts the greatest strain on a marriage is finances. I sort of blew him off thinking "Hey we are head over in heels in loves" that trumps all.....buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........trust me when I say I learned that lesson in spades..most of the arguments that you will have will be about finances
jmo I guess but the more you can get your financial house in order before you tie the knot the better off you both will be
Go Sox
Goose
I'm paying less on my mortgage than some of my friends are paying in rent. And I get a nice tax write off at the end of the year unless the socialists are elected...then I'll probably have to redistribute my "wealth" lmao or have it done for me
But seriously...this is a fantastic buying opportunity for real estate...prices have come way down...i haven't seen prices like this in New England since maybe 2002
Try to reconsolidate your debt and cut where you can before you tie the knot...if it means dumping the cars do it and drive s-boxes for a few years until you can get your financial feet under you. Going into marriage in debt is a tough sell
Before I got married I remember a co-worker telling me that the once thing that puts the greatest strain on a marriage is finances. I sort of blew him off thinking "Hey we are head over in heels in loves" that trumps all.....buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........trust me when I say I learned that lesson in spades..most of the arguments that you will have will be about finances
jmo I guess but the more you can get your financial house in order before you tie the knot the better off you both will be
Go Sox
Goose
Reason i got the HHR was to get out of the Truck and the only reason i did that was with GM's 0x72 deal.
We replaced my Fiancee's car back in Aug. She had a 95 Corolla with 150k on it. The orginal owners didn't take care of it. It was costing us more in repair then the car was worth. We bought a 05 Galant. If i could trade the HHR in for a used Galant i would if i had to. However i don't think it would change the payment at all.
10-19-2008, 08:13 PM
#24
Senior Member
Join Date: 01-24-2008
Location: USA
Posts: 725
You know, as I read the back and forths on this, I really think you might want to consider discussing this with an organization that could give you some good guidance, both financially and with regards to your relationship with one another. I will tell you ahead of time, I am from the old school where marriage is a committment for life. Sounds scary, but if you really care for one another, it isn't. I have jokingly stated to people that I will know I have done my job the day I bury my wife (and visa-versa). I say this because I am totally committed to her and cannot imagine not being with her at the end.
I see so many people tossing away their spouses for a quick piece, silly fighting, etc. Believe me, my wife and I have had tons of go-rounds, but we always know the real meaning and feelings we have for one another. There seems to be a new interpretition to marriage, when the first problem comes up - bam! - there's the door. (and don't get me wrong, there are legitimate reasons to break up)
I also must admit the first read of your post - talking about pre-nups, is a concern - and others picked up on it. In general, if the two of you only have the school loans, the car payments, and don't have a ton of cash-equity, what's the big deal? Do you know a lot about her? Do you have reservations?
That's where a counselor comes in. They can guide you through why you are tying the knot, help you understand one another, talk about committment, review finances and perhaps teach you good saving habits. Habit one is to stay away from credit cards, in general (other than having one or two to help build your credit score). But, if you have one, pay it off every month.
I guess I still stick with my original thoughts with you. If you don't have a good down payment, set a goal of saving a % of your income every month and try to have $25 grand in the bank in five years. And discipline yourselves to not buy lots of toys, don't eat out too often, shop your car insurance, etc. etc. etc.
As far as where to go to find a counselor, you can check with the YWCA, Social Services, government agencies, churches. You'll probably find one at no charge. If you're not happy with the first one, try another.
I see so many people tossing away their spouses for a quick piece, silly fighting, etc. Believe me, my wife and I have had tons of go-rounds, but we always know the real meaning and feelings we have for one another. There seems to be a new interpretition to marriage, when the first problem comes up - bam! - there's the door. (and don't get me wrong, there are legitimate reasons to break up)
I also must admit the first read of your post - talking about pre-nups, is a concern - and others picked up on it. In general, if the two of you only have the school loans, the car payments, and don't have a ton of cash-equity, what's the big deal? Do you know a lot about her? Do you have reservations?
That's where a counselor comes in. They can guide you through why you are tying the knot, help you understand one another, talk about committment, review finances and perhaps teach you good saving habits. Habit one is to stay away from credit cards, in general (other than having one or two to help build your credit score). But, if you have one, pay it off every month.
I guess I still stick with my original thoughts with you. If you don't have a good down payment, set a goal of saving a % of your income every month and try to have $25 grand in the bank in five years. And discipline yourselves to not buy lots of toys, don't eat out too often, shop your car insurance, etc. etc. etc.
As far as where to go to find a counselor, you can check with the YWCA, Social Services, government agencies, churches. You'll probably find one at no charge. If you're not happy with the first one, try another.
10-19-2008, 08:24 PM
#25
Senior Member
Join Date: 11-27-2007
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,115
Unless you are one of the Hollywood crowd, my personal opinion is that a pre-nup is a turn-off. Why plan to fail? Easy for me to say after many years of wedded bliss, but we have shared everything from day one.
That said, for entertainment only as I am no lawyer.
--if you are going to buy a house (assuming you can afford to) and one of you has lousy credit, buy it before you marry.
-Gifts to you and Inheritance is not Community Property (even in CA) UNLESS you merge them with other accounts.
-Debts and assets (including home equity) brought into a marriage are not Community Property (even in CA) UNLESS you merge them with other accounts.
That said, for entertainment only as I am no lawyer.
--if you are going to buy a house (assuming you can afford to) and one of you has lousy credit, buy it before you marry.
-Gifts to you and Inheritance is not Community Property (even in CA) UNLESS you merge them with other accounts.
-Debts and assets (including home equity) brought into a marriage are not Community Property (even in CA) UNLESS you merge them with other accounts.
10-19-2008, 10:31 PM
#26
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: 06-29-2008
Location: Crystal Lake
Posts: 839
I guess the more i read over what alot of people are saying alot of the "Old Schoolers"
The main reason i brought it up is the School loans however i've had that talk with other's on here as well as the Bank.
For the rest of the Debt. It is OUR Debt. We owe under 5k in Bills. Only reason we even owe that is from when she was in School.
Only other Debt we have is the Car's. From that point on the Debt is Our's.
We will be talking to a Marriage counsler.
Money wise our Checking accounts will be merged. Possibly before we get married if it makes budgeting easier. Its just something i want to do. I know some will agree and disagree with keeping them apart and together.
The main reason i brought it up is the School loans however i've had that talk with other's on here as well as the Bank.
For the rest of the Debt. It is OUR Debt. We owe under 5k in Bills. Only reason we even owe that is from when she was in School.
Only other Debt we have is the Car's. From that point on the Debt is Our's.
We will be talking to a Marriage counsler.
Money wise our Checking accounts will be merged. Possibly before we get married if it makes budgeting easier. Its just something i want to do. I know some will agree and disagree with keeping them apart and together.
10-19-2008, 10:49 PM
#27
Senior Member
Join Date: 06-01-2008
Location: arlington texas
Posts: 2,762
i agree with some of the stuff said, and i am looking to get married within the next year or two, but i will inherit some money in 5 years and would feel safer with a prenup just incase she left me. i dont plan on ever leaving her, but if worse came to worse and she/i wanted to divorce, i would be devistated to loose all the money my gparents left me.
10-20-2008, 10:07 PM
#29
Senior Member
Join Date: 11-27-2007
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,115
Usually becomes part of a couple's assets because either intentionally or out of ignorance the inheritor does not keep the money in a completely separate account in their name only. Like I said, I believe in sharing everything, but the law is pretty clear on this. Disclaimer: talk to a lawyer and accountant for the final answer.
10-20-2008, 10:26 PM
#30
Banned
Join Date: 10-24-2006
Location: The Show-Me State
Posts: 1,761
I CAN chime in on this one. My advice: consult a lawyer in your own state. Not every state is a community property state and the differences between marital and pre-marital assets vary widely between the states. In my state, a gift, bequest or inheritance is not considered marital property and is considered separate property. You could inherit anything you want and your spouse cannot touch it in divorce--even if the you received the bequest or it increases in value over time during your marriage.