So a little back story. I had an old battery in the car and replaced it after similar issues happened and it all went away. Today I was on the highway and I hear the "bong bong bong" sound happening and my dash is going nuts. The new battery has been in the car for about 3 months now. Before I replaced the battery I was having similar problems. Here is what is happening:

• Hearing a relay clicking under the dash on the drivers' side when the dash gauges are acting up
• Fuel, Speedometer, and External Air Temp - All acting up. Acting up being they are reporting no or erratic readings at random
• The transmission shifting hard and not at the right RPMs (for example being in 3rd gear at 25mph) so it bogs down
• NO CELs....
• SERVICE ESC error on the dash
• Motor is running correctly, sounds like normal

I am going to test the new battery tomorrow to see if maybe I got a bad one. I checked my TCM, ECU, and fuse box connections on the passenger side. I cleaned all these connectors with deoxit and all the fuses in the underhood box as well as the relays.

Any idea where to start? I've got 153K miles on it and would like to keep it. Any help is appreciated.

 

First check the battery connection to the under hood fuse box and the battery connections. The battery connections are easy to screw up, they must be tight and some people break them.

 

Your old, bad battery may have overworked your alternator, which may now have ruined your new battery. You can get a free charging system test at an auto parts store.

 

Going to check that tomorrow when I get it in the garage.

That's a good idea. I do have a battery tester and tested the alternator with that. Ripple was normal and voltage was around 14.3V with the engine idling. I'll bring it over to autozone to see if it is the alternator after I re-test it again here. Maybe the alternator is just on it's way out, that would be ideal since thats a pretty easy fix all things considered. Thank you.

 

Just to be sure, remove the cables from the battery and clean the clamps and terminals, the very carefully reconnect them. They are tricky and it’s really easy to make a poor connection.

 

So just an update. Tried another battery and the issue persists. I also had the alternator tested with my own tool and over at autozone.

It seems to be related to the weather as it does it more when its cold and/or damp out. I already cleaned up the clamps and terminals on the battery and that did not help at all. I am pulling panels and going over ALL the grounds with info that I found on here and checking wires in general to see if I can find anything that is damaged or corroded.

I will note that someone on a video I saw on Youtube for this issue mentioned something with the vent solenoid by the gas tank which that was repaired by a local shop so I am going to also look in that area to see if anything else is damaged.

 

The issue you describe has a really low chance of having anything to do with the EVAP system. There are codes involved with those parts.
Has the fuse box been removed before? Tighten the bolts in it, they need to be tighter past the point you think is too much.
Check the wires and connections to the VVT valves and the EBCM (ABS brain) and the ECM and the wheel speed sensors. Check the wheel bearings by jacking the corner up grab the tire at 12 and 6 and push-pull if you can feel any movement the hub is bad. Make sure all fuses and relays are seated in both fuse boxes.
There are people that claim the EBCM is always to blame for this sort of problem.
You might just replace the VVT valves.